Enraged

I have made my decision. This time round I will not stay quiet and take up a responsibility which I believed shouldn't be made under me. I told my colleague the other day that I wished I could put on a mask wherever I go. I want to be a person that can handle my own feelings and emotions despite knowing that things go haywire and nobody will back me up for every reasons in the world.

I never knew it is so hard to deal with people. HUMAN BEINGS, distinctively defined as intelligent and unique, having the capability of managing self and solving problems. It is true. It is. People are naturally born that way. But what happen to people nowadays?

Raj says to me the other day, "What you sow is what you reap".

I agreed, it is supposed to be this way, it is meant to be this way.
 But people proves me wrong.

I don't reap what I sow.

All these time I have been sowing, or to be exact, giving in all I could, being the inferior executive that helps out here and there, and is demotivated most of the times. Why is this happening to me? Why people doesn't have the courtesy to ask in a good manner? Why I am made to take up tasks which is not clarified clearly?

You see, when I think of this, I thought hard. I weigh my options. I made my grounds clear. To be honest, I am at lost. I do not know where my actions will lead me to. People will by nature dislike rebellious human being. But as much as I do not want to be rebellious, I figured out that if I don't stand for myself, WHO Will? If I accept everything that comes to me, my as well not to live a life at all. Life is about giving and taking. I cannot be saying YES all the time and at the end of the day, people took me for granted.

I do not know why is it so difficult to me. Like what I told Cheng Yee, "If only I could swallow everything in and still deceive everybody with my happy face". But I can't. I just can't. I am not made that way.

Patience has its limit.

When it boils up to a certain level, ENOUGH is ENOUGH.

 I must take control of my life.

My life is my priority.

If I don't take care of it, NOBODY will.